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Seven Ways to Connect 5-7
Connecting with students to enhance learning.
5. Embrace challenges.
Problems are gifts. Usually when we encounter a problem, we think "why me" or get angry or anxious. That may be because we tend to put our life experiences into two categories, good and bad. If we go a little further, we find that we are "adding on" those labels. Life is not really that way. Mostly because life isn't that personal. It isn’t just about you, or me, or anyone in particular. So, when you are having a big issue with a student, rather than immediately thinking about how this annoying problem is happening to you, try something else. First, consider the "problem" an opportunity to develop your skills. How are you going to address this issue? This is your chance to develop your capacity and investigate the situation. Why does this student do this anyway? What might you be doing that helps create this problem? Second, recognize that this student is helping you. All of the other students who go along with everything you do and cause no problems do not help you develop at all. The student that is challenging leads to the your biggest gains in personal growth and skill development. Difficulties help you. Embrace challenges.
6. Change Takes Time
Our habits are strengthened through repetition, good or bad. That is, the more we do something, the more likely we are to continue doing it. We create patterns of action in our lives. This can work for us or against us. For example, if we have a destructive habit that is harming us, it works against us. If we have healthy habits and behaviors, these patterns works for us. To make lasting changes, it is best to choose small repeated changes that can be established as new "life patterns." I have heard that it takes 21 days of doing something to create a pattern needed to make it part of your life. (That's why if you kept a New Year's resolution passed January 21st, you are still staying with it.) When we pick very large changes they are often to difficult to sustain. Therefore, when you look to make changes, consider choosing something that you can do repeatedly until it becomes part of your everyday repertoire of skills. As Carl Rogers once said, "The funny thing is, when I accept myself exactly as I am, then I can change." Change takes time.
7. Go Ahead and Do It.
According to an ancient Chinese proverb, Talk Does Not Cook Rice. We can talk forever about all the things we are going to do but, until we are actually doing them, nothing is different. There is no reason to wait. See what happens. Go ahead and do it.
